30 Creative Ways to Reconnect to Your Spouse
Reconnecting to your spouse after the kids leave is a crucial part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Sometimes, once the house is empty, we take our relationship for granted, and allow ourselves to become complacent. Or, if you’re lucky, you’ll see your relationship grow stronger after those pesky kids fly the coop! It can be a new adventure, a re-balancing of time with each other. Sometimes we get lost, and don’t know how to reconnect to our spouse.
Frankly, if my husband and I spend too much time together, we’ll go nut-so! I adore him, and he adore’s me, but too much time together results in us getting on each other’s nerves. Some couples need time away from each other, and some can spend every moment together and enjoy it!
Regardless of which type of couple you are, when the kids leave and the house is empty, we definitely feel the changes. We feel the emptiness, and we internally may start to panic about what to do next. Well, hopefully you and your significant other still like each other after years of raising kids together! Assuming you do, there are some things you can do to reconnect, rekindle, and keep yourself, and each other happy in the relationship!
Starting a New Child-Free Life Together
- Spend time apart. This doesn’t mean days and days, although, if that works for you, do what ya gotta do! But, what I mean here is go out with your friends for dinner and a movie, or a concert. Send him off with his friends to go fishing, hunting, play a round of golf, or shoot pool. And, while you’re apart, enjoy that time. It’s really okay to have fun while you’re apart!
- Be spontaneous! Don’t just have a set date night. Go on dates whenever the mood strikes you, and change it up. Don’t go to the same restaurant all the time. Try something new! Don’t go to the same spot for a romantic walk. Women, at least I know this is true of me, like variety. So, ladies, if you need to, have a conversation with your husband, and remind him that, while doing things that seem comfortable is great sometimes, doing something different is also fun, and exciting, and makes you happy!
- Hold hands. Don’t be stubborn about it. I know some people aren’t into holding hands in public, but I mean, come on! It’s not like you’re getting naked and having sex out on a park bench! It’s just hand holding. Do it!
- Work on your emotional connection. This is so extremely, super important! Relationships thrive on emotional intimacy. Furthermore, if you want to have physical intimacy, you must have emotional intimacy first. If your emotional relationship has been neglected, take the time, put in the effort, and reconnect on an emotional level! Don’t get complacent, and don’t settle for being content with the way things are. And, remember, as always, it is never a bad thing to speak up and discuss your needs and wants with your spouse.
- Have sex! You knew that was going to be in here, right? While sex, in and of itself, is not the most important aspect of a relationship, it is one of the aspects that needs to be explored, and nurtured. It is another way to emotionally connect, and is the partner to emotional intimacy. And, please, don’t be boring about this. Don’t have sex on the same day, every week, once a week. Be spontaneous, change it up, listen to each other. Oh, and you have the whole house to yourself now. Use it! 😉
Couples Activities to Try!
- Take vacations together. These don’t have to be for weeks at a time, and they don’t even have to be far from home. Sit down, talk about places you’d like to visit, and things you’d like to do together. My husband and I love going camping, and once our youngest is out of the house (or at least old enough to be alone for several days at a time), I have no doubt that we’ll be off camping by ourselves. Surprise your husband and take him on a fishing trip for a couple of days! Surprise your wife and take her to a two or three day spa vacation! Or, just find a cute, little B&B and surprise her (or him) with a few days away!
- Hopefully you have similar interests, as well as different interests. How about you try each other’s hobbies?! Does he love to play golf? You may think you’ll hate it, but you never know if you’ve never tried. Does she enjoy painting pictures? Get out those painting supplies and paint a picture with her! Whatever the hobby, pick one, and try it. Even if it’s not for you, you’ve just bonded a little more, and (hopefully) had some fun together! It’s okay to be silly with each other!
- Try a new hobby together. My husband and I have actually discussed taking dancing lessons together…we still need to get on that!
- Play a game together. Board games, card games, whatever. If you’re both home, and you’re just doing the same old stuff, change it up, and play a game together. My favorite game to play with my husband is Cribbage.
- Cook a meal for your SO. Make their favorite meal, or make something new. You can use this meal as a romantic evening, as well. Candles, wine, dancing…right in your own dining room!
- So, this is going to sound typical, and boring, but just watch a movie together. Don’t talk to each other. Sit with each other, maybe snuggle, but don’t talk. Just enjoy each other’s company, and whatever movie you’ve chosen. My husband has told me many, many times that he loves that we can sit together, in the same room, either doing different things, or watching a move, and neither one of us feels the need to constantly talk.
- Snuggle. Yes. Just. Snuggle. No expectations. Take a break, sit on the couch, or lay on the bed, and just be together. You might fall asleep and take a nap together. You might wind up having sex. None of that is the intention, but whatever happens, be happy with it. The intention is just to be there in the moment with each other.
- Okay, so this may sound super corny, but either verbally, or in a notebook, or on the chalkboard in your kitchen, tell each other some positive things about the other, each day. Even one compliment when you start your day is a beautiful, positive way to start! My husband tells me, often, how “cute” I am in the mornings. I remind him of how much I appreciate how hard he works. Keep it positive, then, when something less-than-positive happens, it doesn’t seem so bad, and you’re less likely to focus on the negative.
- A great activity for a couple is to do some type of DIY project together, or make some simple, (stress-free) home improvements. It can be a lot of fun figuring out how to do something, work toward a common goal, and when the work is completed, you did it together!
- Go to the zoo, or the aquarium. Chances are, you love animals. I mean, who doesn’t? Or, if the zoo really isn’t your thing, go to a botanical garden, an art museum, or a history museum. Add a little variety, and culture to your lives.
- Spend an entire day unplugged! This is pretty self-explanatory.
- Get a couples massage. Oh, the bliss!
- Double date! Or triple. Find another couple or two who you love spending time with, and plan a fun evening out with your friends!
- Write each other a love letter. Super sweet, and a great way to express your emotions because you have the time to really think about the words you want to use.
- Go on a picnic. Every community has parks, and areas where you can spread out a blanket, and sit down for a quiet, relaxing lunch or dinner picnic.
- Work out together. My husband and I are pretty health conscious, and actually really enjoy going to the gym together.
- Go to the theater. Check out a play, or musical. Or, go to a concert together. Just make sure you both enjoy the artist!
- Wake up early and watch the sunrise.
- Go horseback riding on the beach. Okay, maybe I added this because my husband and I actually do ride horses, but it’s really a fun, and relaxing way to spend time together…and breathe in the clean, beach air!
- Slow dance. It doesn’t even matter where you are. Just slow dance! Why? Because it’s romantic, because it’s sweet, and it is a guaranteed way to make your spouse (especially wives) feel super special! And a fantastic way to reconnect to your spouse!
- Go to a winery or brewery (or both, but maybe on different days), and have a wine/beer tasting. My husband and I have done this before and it’s really fun!
- Buy different chocolates, and have a chocolate tasting at home. First of all, chocolate is just yummy, and second, this could turn into other fun bonding activities!
- Go to a sporting event! My husband and I love football, and my goal is to get him to a game this year!
- Plan an international trip together. Hash out all of the details, and create a plan for saving up for your trip. For instance, my husband wants to take me to Amsterdam one day. This, of course, goes beyond just taking a vacation together. When you go international, you need to do some planning. What country would you and your spouse like to visit?
- Write open-when letters. “Open when you’re sad”, or “Open when you’re mad at me”, or “Open when you’ve had a bad day at work”. They all work. They’re all great for making your spouse feel better. They don’t all have to be letters that you open on negative days. Get creative!
Do you think you’re going through a midlife crisis? Check out the, Top 14 Ways to Beat the Midlife Crisis!
Stop thinking negatively about midlife. Check out How to Change the Way You View Midlife for great tips!